lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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