My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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