It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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