Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
