Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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