how can u be prego again
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
