i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
