Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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