hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
