My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
