Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I deserve this hangover.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
