My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
