can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
