I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She's the barista slut.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
