I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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