I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
time to smoke my breakfast
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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