Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
