i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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