I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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