And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
