I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
