Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize