Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
