Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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