I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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