I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Randomize
