I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
