So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
