do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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