I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
