My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
