She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.