so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.