do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.