So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
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you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
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I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.