Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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