You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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