so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
