I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
