I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
There's even glitter on my cock...
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