i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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