Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
