Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
