she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I need water and some morals
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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