if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
