I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
