Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
