Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I need water and some morals
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