Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i love accidental penises.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
