my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
