Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
