Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
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