the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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