so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize