I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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