Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
