Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
