Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
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As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
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She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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