his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
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if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm bleeding and have questions
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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