My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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