My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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