Christians are straight up FREAKS
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
