I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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