If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
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do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
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One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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